The Process of Becoming a Wife

There is more than one way to become a wife, and I became a wife only two months ago. To argue that my method of becoming a wife has been the best and most logical approach would be too strong of a claim. Instead, I will argue that my method has proven to be a good and logical approach. I would recommend my method to those in significantly similar circumstances to mine. My circumstances were as follows:

 When I first began using my method, I was a straightforward and ambitious 18 year old woman. At this point, I felt ready for marriage. I felt secure in my own identity and goals, yet hoped to grow in both of those areas by becoming a wife. My definitions of "marriage" and "wife" were specific. Marriage meant the prospect of experiencing life alongside a partner, in my case, a man. I wanted someone who I could faithfully support through life's challenges and joys without contradicting my identity. This man would ideally do the same for me. The prospect of becoming a "wife" meant learning to put someone before myself in all areas of life. There is more than one way to exhibit this kind of selflessness, and I knew I was ready to commit to giving myself in one of those ways (I didn't know which).

 Those were my circumstances. My method is below. I include how long each step took.

 1. Find someone you are interested in marrying. You do not have to be sure (2 months).
2. Form a strong friendship with this individual (6 months).
3. Determine whether this individual is interested in marrying you (an evening).
4. Talk to this individual at great length about what marriage means and what it means to be a wife, ensuring that the individual is on the same page as you (included in steps 2 and 3).
5. Formally plan for marriage with this individual (8 months).
6. Become a wife by entering a marriage with the individual (an evening).

 You may object that the process is not as simple as I have described it. It might not be, but it can be. This method was efficient and effective considering my circumstances. I reached my goal of becoming a wife within 16 months. Being a wife is a higher goal, and it is more complicated. I do not quite know how to do it yet. But failure is not the end of the world, and my husband is as patient with me as I am with him. Ask me how to be a wife twenty years from now, and I still might not know how. But I will still be trying.

Comments

  1. UnknownFebruary 14, 2020 at 12:17 PM

    Hey Ana,

    I wanted to share my process for reading this post:

    1. Start to read because I still need one more comment for this week (Friday blues)
    2. Notice list and skip to that part (3 seconds)
    3. Intrigued (unquantifiable)
    4. Go back to the top, skip middle, and end at the...end (1 minute 30 seconds)

    Your process is better than mine, but I guess it would be weird for either of us to take each others process considering the differing objectives of our processes.

    -Garin

    ReplyDelete

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