Moments in the Mist

Esteemed writer Brett Lott describes Flannery O’Connor as humble, and lifts her up as an example for Christian artists, I don’t know that I agree with his definition of humility. “Humble Flannery” lets her ideas speak for themselves, trying to separate her authorship from her stories. This might be considered humble. However, in her interactions with her fans, she is short and dismissive. It makes sense that Lott admires this, because he is the same way. In his anecdotes, particularly those about his students or mentees, he treats others (and writes about them) as if they are inferior to him. I find this frustrating. Although Lott is clearly experienced in his field, he need not treat others as if they are lesser. This is not a good example to other Christian authors. It is good to write humbly and not to cling to one’s ideas too tightly, but when one doesn’t act this way interpersonally, that work is undone. As much as I dislike Lott’s hypocritical essay on humility, I greatly appre...

This isn't a traditional blog post. This is the introduction to a paper that I am writing for my Honors class. I'm choosing to share it here because I rarely write an introduction that I am proud of. Normally, I write my introductions at the end of the writing process, when I have finally figured out what I am trying to say. But this time, I was so excited to share my ideas that this intro just happened. I chose to write on Locke and Rousseau for this paper. I hope you enjoy this example of a paper introduction: The way we view the things around us - ours, his, mine, hers, their - drastically impacts the way we live our lives. In the cultural west, we tend to stay in our own little corners. If we need or want something, we have to take action to get it, or at least make a case for why we should have it. If we have something that we don’t want, we give it to someone who offers us the most in return rather than the one who needs it the most. If we can get more than we need, we ...

To say that the publishing world has changed would be an understatement. We are arguably reading more, but we aren't reading in the same way. Audiobooks are more popular now than ever, and many writers who would like to write for print publication settle for internet publication. For those who want to sell their own writing as a career, it is difficult to make a living. But for those who simply want the world to see their writing, things are easier. If you are willing and privileged enough to make little or nothing for your work, it is easy to spread it around online, reaching an audience much more quickly than pre-internet authors. Although I enjoy writing, I don't see publishing for income as a priority. If I do write things that I want others to see, I don't feel the need to publish it in the traditional sense. Regardless of this fact, I would much rather be an editor than a writer. Due to the decline in traditional publishing, independent publishing has increased drama...

I have lived in many places during my 19 year existence. 1. A cottage in Aurora, OR (0-1). My parents lived here when I was born. 2. An apartment in Manila, Philippines (1-2). My parents were missionaries with an organization. 3. A house in Manila, Philippines (2-4). 4. An apartment in Wilsonville, OR (4-5). My parents decided that living and raising a child overseas was too stressful. 5. A house in Charlotte, NC (5-6). My dad worked at the mission base here. 6. Another house in Charlotte, NC (6-11). 7. A house in Wheaton, IL (11-13). My mom decided to get her PhD at Wheaton College. 8. A house in Oregon City, OR (13-16). My parents wanted to move back to where my dad grew up and where they met (this was the plan all along). 9. Another house in Oregon City, OR (16). My mom got a teaching job in Canada, so my family moved to Alberta. I stayed behind to finish my senior year. I moved in with friends. 10. Another house in Oregon City, OR (16-17). After living in my friend's...

Among avid readers, claiming that a film adaptation is better than an original book can put me on dangerous ground. After all, people fall in love with books, spending time with them in a way that many don't with movies. A book is often read a bit at a time and can last someone weeks, whereas a movie is done in less than two hours, so it makes sense that readers can get very emotionally attached to books. Although I agree that many books hold more value and express more nuance than their adapted film counterparts, there is one key series that I believe was improved by its film adaptation: Lord of the Rings. Although Tolkien clearly did a brilliant job with his trilogy, it is easier to keep track of the characters and the narrative in the films. Not only were the casting choices perfect - every single character is unique and interesting - but the plot flows well and holds my attention. The books can drag a bit with long descriptions that the movies capture more quickly with a gorg...

In his political treatise Leviathan , Thomas Hobbes makes arguments for the state of the world and humankind and for a way to make them better. He argues that in our natural state, we look out for our own interests. The world cannot sustain us each individually, so we are in a constant state of war/insecurity. However, when we form groups, those who could only survive alone can begin to thrive; working together feeds human development. To escape the state of nature, these groups agree to surrender their individual rights to a sovereign who protects them from other groups and from the world. When we must surrender all of our individual rights to gain physical protection, this presents problematic possibilities and risks. This is what we tend to talk about when we talk about Hobbes: what will go wrong when we lose our individuality. These conversations are relevant and important, and they present good reasons for why concentrated power in the hands of one person or a few people is not ...

What is a gerund? What is a participle? What is a prepositional phrase? If you're curious, I'm sorry to say you won't find the answers to these questions here. I don't really care for formal grammar instruction. Even if one learns all the vocabulary and rules for grammar perfectly, her writing may not improve. Reading, practice and intuition will help the writer connect with her reader in a meaningful way. Reading will help the writer learn how good sentences are supposed to sound. If the writer reads enough different styles for long periods of time, writing her own work will be as easy as practicing good mimicry. If one doesn't know how to mimic authors, she can still learn good writing habits through practice. Practice will help the writer recognize her own errors and learn to self-correct. If she writes enough and receives feedback, she will likely start to notice poor structural tendencies in her own work. She can compare this to the structural tenden...

I am running for junior class rep! Here is the speech I gave on Wednesday: Hi friends! I’m Ana. You all have a lot of speeches to listen to tonight, so I am going to keep mine brief. That’s one of my goals for my time as junior class representative: to listen more and speak less. As you all know, George Fox University isn't just a school or workplace where students go during the day to return safely home at night. For many students, George Fox is home. When we, the students, don't feel safe in our own home, we can't thrive. Over the past year, I have spoken to students who don’t feel safe here. There are members of our community who don’t feel safe in class, walking across campus, or even in their own dorm rooms. The university has a responsibility to address these issues. Thankfully, the student body is here to hold the administration accountable. Over the past year, I have personally seen members of the safety subcommittee and the LGBTQ+ and Title IX subcommittees a...

I am a woman, and I am a writer, and those two parts of my identity are inseparable whether I like it or not. Thankfully, I do like it. Although I do not have direct evidence to back this up, I believe that women tend to be more aware of their surroundings than men. This may be because men are more likely to focus on individual goals rather than paying attention to the whole picture. Regardless of the reason, I am usually hyper-aware of my surroundings. This can be overwhelming at times if there is a lot of sensory information to process, but it also helps me write better. I notice details that men might not notice. This is valuable whether I am writing creative fiction or non-fiction. Either I can imagine a greater quantity of significant details when I am creating a moment, or I remember a greater quantity of significant details from moments in my own life. Another factor that may come from my femaleness is my high level of empathy. I find it easy to put myself in someone else...

Here is the story as I understand it: Friend A has had a crush on Boy for a period of six months (give or take a few). Friend A has kept Friends B and C updated on her feelings during that time. Friend B begins to develop feelings for Boy. Friend B flirts with Boy. Friend B tells Friend A that she would like to date Boy. Friend A is blindsided and hurt, but she tells Friend B that it is okay to pursue a relationship with Boy. Friend B begins dating Boy within the week. Friend A still feels hurt and angry and talks with Friend C about what is going on. Friend B has fallen in love with Boy quickly and feels bitter about Friend A's response. Friend B expresses her frustration to Friend C. Many women have been in Friend C's position before. Now I am Friend C. Friends A and B are my closest friends. I am also a six on the enneagram. One characteristic of sixes is that loyalty and security are very important to them. I can be loyal to Friends A and B in this scenario, but I ca...

I have been describing myself this week as a skeptical theist. When I am talking to my peers or other Christians, I use the term agnostic Christian, because I don't think that those in my contact would understand the label "skeptical theist" (unless I happen to run into philosophers Perrine and Wykstra who helpfully define the term in the Cambridge Companion to the Problem of Evil). The "core" of skeptical theism is the view that if there is a God, the metaphysical gap between humans and the divine could reasonably prevent us from understanding her actions and attributes. Put simply, as a skeptical theist, I don't expect to be certain about what God is like or the way she works. One common misconception is that the word "skeptical" in this instance refers to a skepticism regarding God's existence. Rather, it refers to human epistemic limitations. Under the mentality explained in my first paragraph, I am skeptical that I have the ability to gr...

Like countless women, I dated the wrong guy in high school. This wasn't simply a case of falling head over heels too quickly, going through a tough breakup, and then learning from my mistakes and growing as a person. Although these are all aspects of my story, I still struggle to process my experience several years later. My high school boyfriend was emotionally and sexually abusive, and our relationship took an extreme toll on my mental health. I doubted myself and my experience constantly, and I even began to have anxiety attacks and nightmares that lasted for months after the breakup. Needless to say, I was no longer thriving. About a year after our relationship ended, I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. It isn't easy to categorize this part of my life. I will never be "grateful" for the suffering I endured during that relationship, and I wouldn't say that the ways I have grown since then make the experience "worth it." I still stru...

Those of us who have experienced profound suffering often struggle with the question, "How can there be a God," or, "How can a God who allows this to happen to me be a good God?" Whether we know it or not, by asking those questions we are participating in a vibrant philosophical debate. The Problem of Evil is the biggest logical threat to the existence of an omniscient, omnipotent, and omnibenevolent god. If a god knows there is evil in the word, is powerful enough to stop it, and is good, how can she allow evil to exist? Theists can choose between two major responses. One is the free will defense: humans cause suffering and evil through their free will, but God knew when he created the world that a world with free will and evil is better than a world without free will. This option does not easily address evils not caused by humans, such as natural disasters. I will call the other response the "redemption defense" (I am sure there are better names for ...

Mr. Kline turned to me and Turtle Boy and said, "You both need to produce more writing and share it with others, maybe join a writing group of some kind."  Turtle Boy looked at me and smiled. "We could form our own creative writing group over the summer," he suggested. I shook my head. "No." Two years later, I regret not being a bit kinder to Turtle Boy. However, I do not regret turning down the invitation to join a creative writing group with him. It's not that I think writing groups are a bad idea. But I do prefer to wait to get feedback until I produce enough decent work to make it a worthwhile endeavor, and I did not have enough produced at that point. If I write creative short stories for the sake of bringing them before a small group for feedback, I am likely to fall into the trap of writing to impress. It is necessary for me to finish the stories for the sake of themselves. After I have done that, the feedback of other writers and reader...

On February 6 Michael Pakaluk, professor of ethics and social philosophy at the Catholic University of America gave a lecture called “Is Aristotle a Friend of Liberty?” He is a self-proclaimed "disciple" of Aristotle. Pakaluk argued that Aristotle is a friend of liberty based on what various founders said about him. Pakaluk cited Jefferson and Adams, who looked to Aristotle for the principles and institutions of the new government. He argued that because those principles and institutions safeguard liberty, anyone who stands by them is a friend to liberty. These safeguards include governance for the good of the people, checks and balances, separation of powers, mixed regime, and rule of law. As a lover of philosophy, I thoroughly appreciate Aristotle. However, I am not sure that his principles promote liberty for everyone. For example, Aristotle preferred aristocracy to democracy. He thought it best that a few people known for their virtue and merit make most political decisi...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXEXX8bkLDI Today I was tasked with comparing my writing process with that of a famous author. I chose Margaret Atwood because I want to write my political passions into creative stories like she does. Atwood advises writers to keep a pen (or pencil) and paper with them at all times. She explains that this is necessary to avoid forgetting good ideas that may be useful in the future. I agree with her sentiment, but writing myself an email with the word, phrase, moment, or idea works well enough for me. Atwood and I both rewrite as we go along. For Atwood, this looks like switching off between handwriting and typing. Atwood handwrites her drafts because it helps her flow with her stream of thought. In contrast, when I try to handwrite my drafts, I tend to tire quickly and am unable to keep up with my thoughts. Typing my drafts helps me to keep up and write for longer periods of time. If I am writing creative short stories, I will spend each section o...

There is more than one way to become a wife, and I became a wife only two months ago. To argue that my method of becoming a wife has been the best and most logical approach would be too strong of a claim. Instead, I will argue that my method has proven to be a good and logical approach. I would recommend my method to those in significantly similar circumstances to mine. My circumstances were as follows: When I first began using my method, I was a straightforward and ambitious 18 year old woman. At this point, I felt ready for marriage. I felt secure in my own identity and goals, yet hoped to grow in both of those areas by becoming a wife. My definitions of "marriage" and "wife" were specific. Marriage meant the prospect of experiencing life alongside a partner, in my case, a man. I wanted someone who I could faithfully support through life's challenges and joys without contradicting my identity. This man would ideally do the same for me. The prospect of becomi...

Last night my professor took me to dinner for the third time this week. We met with other students and speakers who graduated from Harvard, experts in philosophy and economics. I did what I always do. I sat in the corner and ate lots of fries. I listened to the speakers talk over each other, and absorbed bits of wisdom that trickled slowly through my filter. The other students asked questions about Thomas Aquinas, matter, and socialism.  After dinner, I went to a lecture by one of the speakers. I took notes for an article I will write for The Crescent . Unlike my classmates, I didn't ask questions during the Q&A.  Although I feel connected on a cosmic level to philosophical and political issues, I do not know how to engage with the philosophers and politicians I have come across. So many of them have fallen into the ready trap of self-fulfillment. They are used to being told they are brilliant, or highly skilled, or even good. Yet, I cannot separate them from my peers...

There are no pretty-good sentences. They are either perfect or incredibly awful. Silence filled the dark stillness with a frigid air that bit my skin, and I shivered despite the weighty cloak I bore. Icy sweat trickled down my back as I struggled to breathe. Can you tell which of those sentences is perfect and which is incredibly awful? You may be able to guess. But you won't be able to know in the way that I know. I can tell you are simply quaking with anticipation, so I will tell you which sentence is which, and I will do my best to explain why. The first sentence is perfect because the room was silent, because the room wasn't full of emptiness but of silence, and because the room was terribly dark, and terribly still. The air was frigid, and it was the silence that filled the room with the frigid air. The air didn't brush my skin, and it didn't tickle my skin. It bit my skin. The cloak I wore wasn't heavy, but it was weighty. In fact, I didn't wear it...

When I finished reading the last page of Heidi , I stood up and stretched, bumping my head against the plastic red slide. I stepped into the sunlight, shading my eyes with my hand. I squinted, searching for my classmates. Older children from the third grade dominated the playground, as usual, and most of them were chasing or being chased. I didn’t see my teacher, but I could spot Frank, a quiet boy from my class. If he was still playing, that meant my class hadn’t climbed the hill back to school yet. I walked in circles, kicking bark chips and looking for my friends. Sweat dripped down my neck and I started breathing faster. I didn’t want to ask Frank where everyone had gone. But as the minutes crawled by, I knew that was my only option. I considered approaching a teacher I didn’t know, but the pit in my gut told me that I couldn’t betray Mrs. Welbourne by asking another teacher for help. Finally, I tapped Frank on the shoulder. He whipped around, and my heart stopped beating. Alth...

We mounted him in the corner, above the desk, and next to the window. His eyes reflected the glare of the bare light bulb in the center of the bedroom, and his antlers almost scraped the ceiling. We hung Christmas ornaments on them to make him look friendlier, the silver snowflake that frames the photo of my cousin and me, the gold rock hold that Jake won in a climbing competition, and the big red ball that reads Mr. & Mrs. Est. 2019. Sometimes I wonder if he likes being in the corner. Does he feel cozy or trapped? Does he like his view into the backyard, or does he feel exposed? There is a decorative sign near him that reads the best is yet to come. Does he think the message applies to him? Do the words bring him hope or isolation? We didn’t give him a name because Jake says he wants to let our children name him. He says they can each give him a name, and we’ll hyphenate them. We’re not sure how many names he’ll have. Of course by time the kids are with us, we won’...

Or, more importantly, who will read this later? Probably my professor and my writing class. When I write an article for The Crescent, George Fox students, faculty, and staff might read it. When I write an email, I know exactly who will (hopefully) read it. When I write short stories, I usually have no idea who will read them. When I wrote the first drafts of the short stories I am most proud of now, I never considered my audience. I wrote for myself. I wrote to know myself better, and I wrote to know others better. I wrote to pick through pain. I pulled memories apart, scattered them, and kept some bits for later. I collected favorite thoughts and stretched them as long as I could without snapping them. Whenever I considered showing my stories to others, I struggled. I didn’t make enough sense, I thought, for others to understand. For years, my teachers were the only ones to see my work. When one of them challenged me to share my writing with my peers, I learned how to revise fo...

On a rainy first-grade morning, I had a doctor's appointment and I got to skip the first few hours of the school day. I felt a bit naughty as it was my first time missing school for any reason. Maybe, I thought, I will arrive after writing time and in time for recess. I bounced into the classroom, pigtails swinging, only to realize that my teacher was passing out the writing paper. I sighed and took my seat. The writing paper we used was blank on top and lined on the bottom. They were the really big lines marked with dotted lines in the middle meant for handwriting practice. There were probably four lines in total on the page, leaving room for a picture in the blank space. Just looking at the page made me nauseous. I wrote the letters as slowly and arduously as possible, so as not to have to complete a second page. One third-grade Tuesday, my teacher asked my class to lean into an important moment and write about it. I chose to describe a past injury in great detail. My teacher ...

Ecclesiastes 1:2 Life is fleeting, like a passing mist. It is like trying to catch hold of a breath. Hevel. Vapor. Mist. This is the word the author of Ecclesiastes chose to describe life. Life for himself? Life for humanity? Life for all things living? He doesn’t specify. A New Testament author uses a similar word in Greek to describe the lives of his readers. “What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes,” he writes in James 4:14. Normally, I read the Bible with my fuzzy gray blanket wrapped tightly around me, keeping the words at a distance. These verses, though, penetrated the gray fuzz. I found them comforting. I don’t have to craft my life into a perfect sculpture for the keepers of eternity to criticize or place value on. I’m just here for now, and then I will be gone. If I am like most people, I will be easily forgotten. The stakes, then, aren’t as high as everyone says. The transience of life as mist mist brings ...